PRIME Roleplay Feed #1 Week of September 3rd

"Road to Colossus, the Conclusion: No Jekyll, all Hyde"
Chainz


This was one of the best done roleplays of this style I've seen. I love the Chainz character, I really do, and I love that he's written in such a way that there is no way you can like anything about him. I dig that the main character of the story is written in such a way that you don't have to struggle with the fact that you're supposed to hate them but you kind of like them for this reason or that. That problem is perfectly destroyed by the fact that Sloan is written in such a way where you can't possibly like anything about him. Bravo on that because it's rare and it's refreshing.

I have to echo the statement Dave made about leaving the murder scene to imagination. That was perfect considering how graphic and violent the rape scene was. It absolutely left me completely repulsed and had me wishing I could be the one to kill Sloan. That was wonderfully done and a great job of not over doing it. Great move there.

I don't really talk much about the technical briliance of writing, and all that jazz, because I'm not nearly qualified enough to comment on such things. As long as I don't have any trouble understanding the writing, and don't have to re-read sentences multiple times, then it's all good to me and this roleplay completely accomplished that.

I do, however, have a small problem. I'm mentioning it here cause this was the last roleplay I read with a situation like this but it's something that always bugs me with roleplays. Bare with me here cause I know what I'm about to talk about is probably nit picking, and all, but it bugs me all the same.I realise in this newer style of roleplaying, that being what we've done over the last few years, that it's a challenge to out think, be more creative, and more entertaining in order to win. The anty has been raised to such a degree that the characters stories often have to be way over the top.

Which I'm fine with. I have no trouble with suspending my belief and not needing a lot of reality to the pieces as long as they're well written.However there is one area where I simply think a person shouldn't cross because it affects the way the characters they interact with on the shows. What I'm talking about is the Hessian/Chainz aspect now.

I don't know if this is the intent, I can only assume it will be, that at some point the idea is for Hessian and Chainz to feud and I'd imagine it's going to happen when Hessian finds out that Chainz was the one to brutally rape and kill his ex-girlfriend who was the love of his life.Now let me say here once more I know we suspend reality to large degrees in this.

Obviously Jason Snow, in a reality based situation, would never be able to be in the mob and in PRIME and not get killed or arrested at some point. Same thing with Gamble or Deville when they were running those type of angles. Same thing when anyone runs a character whose out killing or raping or what not and never getting caught. I can suspend that reality because it's really only denying the effect it would have on their own character and their lives.

However in this sense this directly effects another character. It directly effects the way another character would react on the shows. What I'm saying here, and probably poorly describing my complaint here, is that when Hessian ultimately finds out Chainz is the one who did this there is no real payoff to a feud. There is no way for me, as a reader, to care about anything Hessian does to Chainz in a wrestling match, no matter what type or how bad, because a wrestling match, or beating him up on shows, isn't going to live up to the revenge needed in a situation like this.Anything outside of Hessian simply walking up to Sloan and killing him is going to be a major let down in terms of the payback.

Now, obviously, Hessian will not be walking up and killing Sloan for this, when he finds out, cause obviously that puts an end to Mikes character and realistically forces Ross to remove Hessian from wrestling for good cause he's going to jail for killing a man on a Revolution or PPV telecast.The point is there is absolutely no point to a feud between these two. There is no pay off. There is nothing to look forward to or get into when they eventually feud, if thats indeed the idea being set in motion with these events, but there is no way for anyone to logically explain to me why a guy would decide that the best way to get revenge on the guy who raped and killed the love of his life would be to make his wrestling career miserable and to beat him on a PPV. That's a huge let down in terms of a situation like that.

Now Mike don't get me wrong, at all, I think you're writing is brilliant. The way you went about it, the mood you set, the way you make me as a reader feel about your character in this thing is all absolutely awesome. I just don't get where this would lead to anything worthwhile, in the end, because unless the idea is for Hessian to kill Sloan, or in a sick twist for Sloan to kill Hessian when Hessian attempts to kill him, then there is no real, logical, or explainable way for something like that to go.But either way it was a brilliantly written piece and it's a shame that Billy had things come up that kept him from challenging you in this. He's a great writer as well but I do think it would have been very tough for him to overcome what you did here. Outstanding work.